


A Trip of the Romantic Nature

by wearingsunlight98



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And Sunshine Thor, Carol is in Denial, Even Though Carol Thinks She Isn't, Except Sweet Innocent Peter, F/F, Flirting, I'm a Tagging Rookie, Innuendo, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Sassy Carol, Sassy Natasha Romanov, Sassy Valkyrie, but barely, everybody's sassy, what else should i tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-13 23:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19261114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearingsunlight98/pseuds/wearingsunlight98
Summary: In which Carol needs a date, Valkyrie is available, Natasha is everybody's favorite (except Carol's), there is extensive eye-rolling, and sass is the primary language.





	A Trip of the Romantic Nature

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all, first fic here so please be nice :) I welcome your comments/suggestions/tips/etc. Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this thing! I thought about writing a follow-up to this but am on the fence about it...if any of you are annoyed that there's no actual relationship established in this fic and therefore want a part two, let me know and we shall see what happens :) Enjoy!

“How about Valkyrie?”  
“Dear god, no.”  
“Why not? She’s cute.”  
Carol’s eyebrows shot up as her typical did-you-seriously-just-say-that look slipped into place. “Excuse me?”  
Natasha flicked a few more pieces of popcorn into her mouth, eyes never leaving the screen where the chaotic mess of her favorite home renovation show was on full display. “What? She is.”  
“Sure, if angry, drunk, and reckless is what you call cute.”  
Nat just rolled her eyes. “Look, you’re the one who said you needed a plus one. All _I_ said was that she was available.”  
Carol’s face scrunched up a bit as she said, “Mm no, that’s not quite what you said.”  
Natasha threw popcorn at her.  
“Whatever,” Carol said, throwing the next part over her shoulder as she turned to leave. “You’re full of shit, anyway.”

__________

“So!” Thor thundered as he entered the kitchen. “I hear you’re taking the Lady Brunnhilde on a trip of the romantic nature!”  
Carol’s face scrunched up again, this time in confusion. “The Lady who?”  
“The Lady Brunnhilde!”  
“ _Who?_ ”  
“Brunn. Hilde.”  
Peter’s face lit up in realization. “Oh, she wants to use our made-up names!”  
Thor grinned. “Ah! Yes, of course.” He turned back to Carol. “I hear you’re taking the Lady Valkyrie on a trip of the romantic nature!”  
Carol stared in disbelief. “That is not her name.”  
“Well, yes, it is.”  
“No, it’s not.”  
“Yes, it is.”  
“Nobody is named _Brunnhilde_.”  
“Let’s ask Jarvis!” Peter chimed in. “Hey, Jar-- ”  
“Valkyrie’s real name is Brunnhilde.”  
Carol walked out of the kitchen.

__________

“Your home is a wreck. You could’ve at least cleaned the bathroom.”  
Valkyrie blinked grumpily up at Carol from the mess that was her bed. “Well, had I known I was going to have guests at three o’clock in the morning, dipshit, I’m sure I would have.”  
“Call me ‘dipshit’ one more time, and I’ll throw you out that window.” Carol said, eyebrows raised, hand on her hip, pointing at said window.  
Valkyrie snorted. “Whatever, what do you want?”  
Pause.  
Then:  
“I need you to be my girlfriend for about five hours.”  
Wait. That wasn’t how that was supposed to come out…  
“You what?” Valkyrie responded, confusion and disbelief at having heard what she was _fairly_ positive was Carol asking her out (sort of) written all over her face.  
Carol huffed. “There’s this thing, and I need a date, and it’d probably be good if it was someone who could handle a fight since it’s likely that I’ll start one.” Which wasn’t an exaggeration. People were really stupid sometimes (read also: all the time).  
Valkyrie smirked. “You need me to control you?”  
Carol stared, unimpressed. “Do I look like a dog to you?”  
“You don’t need to be a dog to want to be controlled.”  
“Are you _seriously_ making a sex joke right now?”  
Val smirked. “You like it, you know you do.”  
“You’re a moron,” Carol retorted, storming out of the room.  
“Okay, fine, I’ll go-- ”  
The door slammed shut before she could finish.

__________

“Is this one of those times when you want me to lie to protect your delicate emotions?” asked the redhead at the end of the couch.  
Carol rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, Nat-- ”  
“Well?” Natasha raised her eyebrows, unimpressed.  
Carol glared. When she had shown up to recount the slight disaster that had been her asking Valkyrie to be her date, this was not the conversation she’d had in mind. “No.”  
“Okay, then listen up: you’re being an idiot. You like her. You don’t need to pretend otherwise by being a bitch-- ”  
“ _Me_ , what about _her_?!”  
“Carol, you showed up at three in the morning, called her a moron-- ”  
“‘Cause she _is_ \-- ”  
“--and didn’t even ask nicely, ” she finished, raising her eyebrows pointedly.  
Carol shifted uncomfortably, though her glare did not waver. “Your point?”  
Natasha waited a beat, carefully weighing her next words. “If want her to reciprocate, you need to let go of the woman-hater attitude.”  
“‘Woman-hater?’” Carol snorted, using air quotes.  
Natasha stared back coolly. “Well, she’s not a man, so ‘man-hater’ doesn’t work…”  
Carol rolled her eyes…she was getting really good at that. “I’m done here.”  
She stood up to leave, Natasha yelling, “Carol, don’t you dare leave this room!”  
Carol ignored her, and instead gave her the bird.

__________

“You look-- ”  
“Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”  
Carol blinked, deadpan. “I was gonna say like a trash panda, but whatever.” She sighed, shifting her weight from one foot to another as she stood outside the door to Valkyrie’s suite (which just happened to be located suspiciously close to Carol’s… don’t anybody ever tell you that Tony Stark was not a meddler). “Tell me that’s not what you’re wearing to the event.”  
“The event?”  
Carol blinked again, this time with growing alarm. “Are you kidding me?”  
Valkyrie just looked at her. “About what?”  
“The _event_!”  
“Wait, what day is-- ”  
“Oh my god…” Carol’s brows pinched, her fingers mimicking the same motion around the bridge of her nose.  
“Dude, chill out, it’ll take me five minutes,” Valkyrie assured, spinning around to walk up the spiral staircase leading to her loft.  
Carol whipped out her phone.

To Nat:  
6:28pm FUCK ME

From Nat:  
6:31pm Not my job.

To Nat:  
6:31pm GODDAMMIT

From Nat:  
6:32pm What’s the issue?

To Nat:  
6:32pm NOTHING  


A few minutes later, Valkyrie returned. Carol blinked. Damn, she looked good. Not that Carol was gonna tell her that.  
“Well, you don’t look like a total schlep, so I guess that’s a plus.”  
Valkyrie just stood there. “You done?”  
“Plotting your death? No, not even close.”  
Valkyrie rolled her eyes, pushing past Carol and out the door. “Just shut up and let’s get this over with.”

__________

It wasn’t a terrible disaster.  
That much Carol could admit, and she could even go so far as to admit that the company, while extremely sarcastic and slightly terrifying, had not been the worst she’d ever encountered. And while there were a few moments that had made her want to light someone up with her space powers, it turned out Valkyrie was actually very good at redirecting those conversations.  
(There had been that slight altercation with security, wherein Valkyrie had nearly gotten booted for trying to sneak in an armory’s worth of knives concealed in her dress -- they were for _protection_ , Carol -- and then there was the problem of what to _do_ with all of them -- “I’m not going to leave them in the hands of these ninnies,” Valkyrie had protested -- but fortunately for them, Happy had still been idling at the curb. “This is beyond my paygrade,” he’d mumbled unhappily, arms full of gleaming, razor-sharp blades. After that, though, things had seemed to go fine.)  
So, all in all, not a bad night.  
Not that she was gonna admit that to anyone.  
Such as Natasha, who was currently grilling her for information while she finished her pop-tarts.  
“So, it went well?”  
Carol grunted.  
“Was the food good?”  
Carol shrugged, chewing quickly.  
“How about the booze?”  
She pursed her lips. God, how much longer to finish this pop-tart?  
“Are you a thing now?”  
_Okay, that’s it_ , Carol thought, swallowing quickly. “You know, my favorite conversations are the ones like this one, where you know exactly what I’m going to say, so I don’t actually have to say anything. Do I even need to be here? Because I have things to do.” She stood up quickly, planning on heading back to her room, but instead froze in place.  
“Val, how nice of you to join us.” Natasha’s smirk was really annoying as Valkyrie walked into the room. “We were just talking about you.” Actually, Natasha’s smirk was also really smug… hmmm…  
“Yeah yeah, I got your text.”  
Her _text? What text?!_  
“I thought she might be able to shed some light on the subject,” Natasha answered, and it was only then that Carol realized her question had been verbalized.  
“What do you want?” Val asked, sounding bored.  
Natasha’s head swiveled to meet Carol’s death glare. “I don’t know. What do you want, Carol?”  
In her head, Carol screamed at her, detailing all the horrible ways in which she would kill her, badass-power-woman-friendship be damned.  
Out loud, she simply said, “Valkyrie, would you excuse us?”  
Valkyrie’s eyes rolled so far back into her head, Carol feared (hoped, she _hoped_ ) that they would never come back. “Oh my god, you’ve got to be kidding me,” she grumbled, turning back the way she had come.  
Once she was out of earshot, Carol began detailing, in full-on-battle-volume, all the horrible ways in which she would kill Natasha Romanoff, badass-power-woman-friendship be damned.

__________

Later, in the elevator:  
“So! I heard the Lady Carol took you out on a trip of the romantic nature!”  
“Here, Thor,” said Valkyrie, handing over the flask of Asgardian liquor. “Have some more.”  
Peter perked up. “Wait, can I have some?”


End file.
